Tired body

I got a busy month and something I need to decide and tell my parents my answer. About my future, I have thought for a long time. And actually I don't need extreme life. My father, a person I seldom mention, because he gave me extreme memory. He is a good person from the point of his personality, but he and my mom are like a scale which pursues the balance all the time. Every time foreigners ask me about the views of marriage, I would not consider to have a marriage and let me in pain. Since I observe foreign culture, my thought is really strange, but I think most of our people can understand my feeling. Anyway, I am unhappy he gave me another suggestion.
He might be right, but he is really selfish. Sometimes I cannot figure out why he only worries his siblings but always absent in my life. I still remember at first I came to the world, I liked him more than my mom. He used to be a hero in my mind. I used to take his briefcase or bag to pretend that I have to work like him. As the years of growth, of course, the disappointment increased day by day, I began to hate him. My wonderful childhood also ended and the feeling was as if a falling from paradise to hell. Until six years ago, I did not hate him anymore. Because the opposite of hatred is love, I would rather I never love him, and I don't need to hate him.
This time he was not a really care but worried the future of his unmarried brother and sister. So he thought of me. Did he ask me what kind of life I want? I am not my mom. Let me choose my life, I would like to enjoy every moment for myself but not sacrifice and complain about every day.
These days I just made me busy and tired, in this way I did not have time to think much. Tomorrow I will go to see my aunt, my mom's second older sister, she is even generous than him to me.